-ONE- While in the hospital we will ask that we get a break and that our new little one spends at least some time in between feedings in the hospital nursery.
Now don't get me wrong, we want to spend those precious first moments with our new baby and we will cherish every bit of it, however, with our first little one, that second night in the hospital I think I would be lucky to say I clocked in 30 minutes of sleep total. After several nights with absolutely no sleep, it is very hard to function. This first time around, I felt guilty asking for the nurses to take Madison. I thought maybe this would make me a bad parent. I mean, not wanting to savor every moment with my newborn = bad parent? I felt I would be judged. Next time, no mommy guilt....getting at least several hours of sleep will make me a better parent and I can savor the amount of time we have with our little one more. I say enjoy the help in the hospital while you can because once you leave, you are on your own!
-TWO- I will (try) not to obsess over EVERYTHING
This first time I worried and obsessed over every little thing: whether she was getting enough to eat, sleep, whether her feet were cold and she needed socks, when to put her on a schedule, whether I am creating bad habits that I will have to break later, and even whether she was still breathing (ALL THE TIME). Worry, worry, worry....
Ugh...every parent worries about their child, my understanding is that this is a big part of being a parent, HOWEVER...I definitely think I took it to a bit of an extreme according to my husband. I will try to tone down the obsession and worry with the second one and know that odds are everything will work out in the end and the constant worrying is not making things any better.
-THREE- I will not worry about how much weight I gained during pregnancy and how I will lose it after
I was extremely concerned that I would have a difficult time losing the baby weight and that it would take me 6 months or more. I am happy to say that I did not need to worry. Breastfeeding definitely seemed to help a good bit I will admit. I walked out of the hospital two days after giving birth and was pleasantly surprised that except for some swelling in my face, ankles, etc...I was feeling pretty good about the amount of weight I had lost. Now, a little over two months postpartum (other than some toning and some general weight loss goals I had pre-pregnancy), I am back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. I will not worry so much the second time around. I am hoping it comes off as easily with baby #2! No need to obsess, just enjoy being pregnant...it really does go by so fast!
-FOUR- Know that the first two weeks with a newborn are simultaneously AWFUL and WONDERFUL.
Sorry, no sugar coating here. I really wish someone had been more frank with me about what the first two weeks are really like with a newborn. I think it is better to know what it will be like than think the first two weeks will be magical. They are wonderful in the sense that you are so happy and overjoyed over your new baby, however at the same time, the first two weeks are the WORST. A nurse at the hospital told me several times that if we could get through the first two weeks, we could get through anything. She was so right!
For first time moms, why are the first two weeks so tough? Extreme sleep deprivation (feeding your baby on demand as instructed which ranges from every 45 minutes to at best every 2 hours...and yes this happens all night as well), breastfeeding for the first time (you will be extremely sore), being overly concerned that your baby is not getting enough milk, being an emotional basket case of hormones....think crying out of pure exhaustion and being completely overwhelmed with all things new baby (and as mentioned heighten those emotions because of the hormones)...I think you get the point. It is HARD.
On the bright side, know that it gets SO MUCH better after those first two weeks. Your breasts will begin to heal magically after those two weeks. Your baby will begin to stretch his or her feedings for longer periods of time. You will begin to gain confidence in your abilities as a parent. Your baby is likely getting what he or she needs nutritionally and after those first two weeks you have either made the switch to formula or have visited the lactation consultant a time or two. Your hormones will level out. All in all it gets so much better.
I will keep all of this in mind with the second one and just know that all of these things are normal.
-FIVE- Know that it is ALL WORTH IT. I promise.
As hard as those first several weeks were with a new baby, I honestly did question why anyone has children. I know that probably sounds awful. I always said I wanted two children, however, during our first month with Madison, I told my husband I was not sure I would be able to go through this whole newborn process again with a second child. Fast forward to about 6 weeks in with Madison...when she smiled for the first time, I melted. I remember looking up at my husband and saying...okay....we can have a second one. Just like that, I was hooked. It is worth it. Children especially new babies are a ton of work, but once you start experiencing those exciting first baby milestones...there is nothing like it. Parenthood has many ups and downs, but I will never regret the decision to have a baby.
I mean look at these smiles...
